The Classic Gay Rainbow Flag Isn’t Racist

When did the folks at Tierney stop condoning the murder of gays?

Only the profound phoniness of the issue could allow it to take off.

* * *

The poisonous nature of loaded questions are reasonably common knowledge to most of the thinking population, even if many still lack the ability to properly stand up to the practice. The classic “Have you stopped beating your wife?” example is insidious precisely because any answer given by the questioné automatically validates the assumption of the questioner.

Likewise — even though the term was only just now coined by myself and doesn’t have its own Wikipedia page at the moment — the sister practice of the loaded solution is, if anything, even worse than her more famous family member. The classic example, should this term become commonplace, would be the recently-unveiled eight-color L.G.B.T. flag by the Philadelphia Office of L.G.B.T. affairs. It proposes a problem that doesn’t exist, creates a solution with no uses aside from solving said fake problem, automatically insults everyone who doesn’t immediately adopt the solution; and, much like loaded questions or the Global Thermonuclear War Game, the only winning move is not to play. Most insidious of all, the loaded solution is often presented as a sort of gift, even when accompanied with an outrolling of merchandise by the cruel, cynical blood-suckers who created said worthless product in the first place.

These people are called “marketers,” and the marketing team that added black and brown stripes to the Gay Rainbow Flag are known by the unimprovable name of Tierney.

None of this information is secret. Even articles promoting this worthless product have cited Tierney by name in their puff pieces,* but that still doesn’t make the practice any less insulting. Homosexuals have integrated along racial lines ever since homosexuals started forming communities at all, even as far back as the Stonewall days. Only a state of reflexive paranoia and the complete impossibility of such a problem being legitimate could possibly enable a solution this worthless to gain ignition rather than immediately being snuffed out in an ashtray like spent tobacco, which at least had some use to someone before burning out.

Even the message of racial inclusion provided by the Eight-color is laughable. Why only two extra stripes to represent racial harmony rather than a more traditional five? Are the red and yellow stripes of the original supposed to represent Amerindians and Orientals as well as the Newtonian color spectrum? Was the original flag being deliberately inclusive of Amerindians and Orientals and deliberately exclusive of Negroes and Maylayans? Why was a white stripe excluded? Because racial harmony is a fantasy?

Was no thought put behind the creation of the Eight-color? Of course not! It was developed by brainless marketing twits who only care about guilting and bullying the gullible and incredulous into buying tacky merchandise.

The Eight-color is bad enough for all of those reasons, but what makes the flag intolerable even by the standards of cynical marketing campaigns is the implied insult to the original flag and creator Gilbert Baker, who passed away earlier this year. There is neither evidence nor accusation that Baker’s design has ever been considered a slight against the ever vague community of “non-whites” the Tierney marketing team insists the flag excludes. Tierney’s flag wouldn’t even exist without Gilbert’s, and that still didn’t keep their marketing hacks from tossing this design in the dumpster rather than smearing a symbol that actually contributed to society as racist.

Tierney only put these stripes on the flag because they knew a community that prides itself on inclusivity to the degree seen in the L.G.B.T. community would provide less resistance to this fake accusation of racism than a family of Christian Fundamentalists in the 1980s would provide to the equally baseless accusations of homosexual heavy metal singers planting subliminal messages into their records encouraging their fans to commit suicide. Having values is all well and good, but no community should willingly slip under the thumb of marketing weasels and loaded-solutionists. Be they L.G.B.T.-ers, feminists, or the Reagan Coalition: thinking human beings should stop tucking their tails between their legs, and start telling the likes of Tierney which hole they can suck.

* Though not all, as the suckers who read Vox have experienced.

* * *

O.R. Welles is an aspiring legend in his own time who has an entire garden hose in his backyard for Vox‘s Alex Abad-Santos to suck raw. He can be found impersonating a Nigerian Prince while conversing with Philidelphia’s L.G.B.T. community and making an absolute killing in the process.

Author: O.R. Welles

Current writer. Aspiring independently-wealthy writer.

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