Donald Trump’s Violent Demise Just Isn’t Funny Anymore

If only Nancy Pelosi would finally have a stroke.

Why it was much funnier before the election.

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On September 23rd, 2015, Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s South Park aired what might very well be the meanest punchline ever broadcast on American television at the climax of the season 19 episode “Where My Country Gone?”. South Park Elementary teacher and noted sexual deviant Herbert Garrison, upon finally losing his patience with the massive influx of Canadian immigrants in his homeland, vows to invade America’s Northern Neighbor and personally fuck every last Canadian to death. His quest impeded by the unexpected construction of a Canadian Great Wall, Mr. Garrison decides his best option is to be catapulted over Niagra Falls from the New York side to the Ontario side so his quest of sexual genocide can begin.

It nearly kills him, but being a cartoon character, Garrison is able to survive the stunt, make his way to Ottowa wearing only a singlet, and reaches their capitol building to find Canada a wasteland: the population fleeing after electing a disastrously stupid and cruel unnamed man with terrible hair to lead the nation. Garrison finds the creature grooving to “The Safety Dance” flanked by only two security officials, neither of whom intervene as the two men start a wrestling match, even after Garrison gets the upper hand and removes his singlet. . . .

. . . Garrison keeps his word, and it was the funniest ending to any TV episode in history.

So what makes the recent Kathy Griffin and Johnny Depp shenanigans different? Why does “Where My Country Gone?” still hold up while the severed mannequin head died on the vine?

It certainly wasn’t the fact that Stone and Parker didn’t actually mention Donald Trump by name. Charles Foster Kane was a less obvious stand-in for William Randolph Hearst. Nor was it the acts obscenity. Griffin and Depp combined weren’t remotely as offensive as a man getting raped to death. Nor is it the prestige of the Office of Presidency. Donald Trump was born a smug, stupid, Yankee choad who will die a smug, stupid, Yankee choad; and will remain as such every moment of his unwanted life in between those points. No position of any kind is prestigious enough to bring value to such a worthless occupant. If a man like Donald Trump were revealed to be the Messiah; all members of the World’s Abrahamic faiths would become Dharmists or Communists.

No. The difference between even as short a timespan as 2015 and 2017 is, even with the meanest mockery of any political candidate by both the U.S. mainstream media and the average American citizen, Donald J. Trump still got what he wanted and those who had a meaningful chance at preventing otherwise made all the wrong moves to stop him, when they bothered trying at all. There’s room for neither joy nor heroics when those who stand up to the evil and stupid are dishonest and cruel the whole way to the battle only to belly-flop their way to failure upon meeting their adversary.

The mainstream media of the United States, for all the remarkably brutal jokes they’ve made at Trump’s expense before and after 2016, always gave him a free platform worth untold millions with their coverage of him because Trump was a celebrity who drew good ratings in places viewers otherwise ignored. All unscripted. All cheap. Only once he’d completely destroyed all opposition to him running next to an ‘R’ rather than a ‘D’ was his persona actually looked at critically by the likes of CNN’s detestable president and longtime Trump suck-up Jeff Zucker. Only once he threatened her political ambitions did Hillary Clinton call out the detestable past racist actions of the man whose third wedding she attended with a smile.

The average American, even those who know Donald Trump deserves every insult ever thrown at him, also knows the 2016 Election and the media disaster surrounding it was never about standing up to the evil and powerful. Donald Trump could’ve been eviscerated and marginalized long before his famous escalator ride if the media did their jobs properly from the beginning rather than fatten themselves off advertising revenue and increased subscriptions from Trump’s three-ring circus. The mainstream media in America hates Donald Trump because they couldn’t stop him from gaining power the one time they actually tried to fight against him rather than for him.

The Secret Service puts an eye out on anybody who jokes about killing the President regardless of the President or the threatener’s individual morality. As they should. The preservation of institutional and democratic norms in countries that actually have institutions worth preserving is more important than the consequences of a terrible leader who still has to live with meaningful checks and balances. Americans have multiple mechanisms to dispose of bad officials both before and after they become a problem, but those who could’ve meaningfully helped to stop this fiasco before it happened have no right to act like members of the Rebel Army when they were to incompetent to perform their civic duties for at least a generation. This is a temper tantrum, and those throwing it are getting exactly what they deserve.

Pity instead the rest of Humanity, who suffers at their side.